The Finale
by DedicatedToTwilight
Summary: End to 5x24. The Season Six Finale.
1. Chapter 1

There was something... strange about the way he felt. There was a pain. In his chest. And he couldn't quite justify it.

He insisted on convincing himself he was right. In telling Serena what he did. But every moment alone made him realise that wasn't quite true. It was as much him as it was her. And he didn't know if he should have been more worried about that, or about the fact he was finding himself enjoying every minute of last night. As much as he loved Blair, there was something undeniable about the way their bodies fit every time, the way their mouths moulded against each other or the perfect fit of his hands on her hips. _Like they would never fit on Blair's. _

His door opened, and his heart jumped at the thought of it being Serena again. He quickly went over apologizes in his head. Knew that one should attempt to suffice. But it was Rufus.

'Hey, Dad, what happened with Lily today?'

'It's over. I need to sign these papers, and let her go. Have you got a pen?' he asked, in typical Humphrey fashion.

It was as if his world stilled. He was confused over wanting to feel sorry for his father, and not being able to. Not being able to comprehend the idea that, without this marriage, he could have still been with Serena, and Blair would have been with Chuck, and things would have been the way they should have been. _The way they should have been. _Had he known this all along?

'I _cannot _believe this!' He found himself shouting, and he tried to justify it. He was angry. What at? His Dad? Serena? Himself? All of the above?

'What are you talking about, Dan? It's not like it's you that's losing a marriage.'

'Lily was your great love, Dad. She was the woman you were prepared to sacrifice everything for. Your relationship with her ruined your marriage to my mother, my relationship with Serena, _everything_ that you ever believed in! You changed your life and mine for her, and now you'll just let her go?'

'I am not discussing my divorce with you, Daniel. It is none of your business.' Rufus locked his eyes with his son's, but Dan was too much like his father to back down.

'Of course it is! You knew what the consequences were when you married her, Dad. You even knew it before that! You knew what it was doing to me, and to Serena, and you chose to ignore it and go after what you wanted. And, after a while, I understood it. But I can't believe it was for nothing. Things could have been so—'

'So what? Different? So much better? Face it, Dan, you and Serena would have broken up at some point anyway.'

'How do you know? I loved her, Dad, I loved her so much. And she made me happy. I would have never left her...'

Rufus scoffed. 'You say you loved her? You have no idea what that means, Daniel, because, trust me, it didn't look like that to me when you were sleeping with her best friend.'

It was like a slap. The hardest slap he had ever felt. And as much as he wanted to be angry at his father for saying it, he was angrier at himself for realising it was true.

'Things changed when you married her mother, Dad! They had to change...'

'They never had to change to these extremes. You never stopped and thought what it was doing to Serena to know that while she was sleeping in her bed, Blair was sleeping in yours. I spoke to her after Blair's wedding. She _truly _loved you. She still does. And if there is anyone I feel sorry for being hurt in all of this mess is her. She suffered more than any of us did.'

For the first time, Dan bowed his head. He was ashamed.

'All of the things I said...' he started, but stopped. There was nothing he could have said to his defence. And he couldn't lie to his dad.

'I slept with her last night.' It was the hardest thing he had had to say in the past year.

Rufus dropped his head and sighed. 'I'm disappointed in you, Dan.'

'And I blamed her for it,' he continued, watching his father shake his head.

'Son, you need to stop and look at yourself. You need to ask if you like who you have become, if this is the person you want to be, and if it's not, they you need to find the right person by your side to help you change yourself. What you said about Lily and I is true. I did change; but I knew the person I was changing for. Who did you change for, son? Blair Waldorf, or Clair? And was it worth it?'

Rufus took the annulment papers in his hands and looked at his son again.

'I know you, Dan, and I know you wouldn't have done what you did last night without feeling something for her. Serena changed for you. You changed her. Let _her_ change you. I hope the good thing about this annulment is that it would allow that to happen.'

He started to walk away, before stopping to stare at Dan one last time.

'I just hope it's not too late. I heard she was on her way to Grand Central.'

There was something... strange about the way he felt. There was a pain. In his chest. And he could guess what it was. His father was right. He did have feelings for her.

It didn't take Dan long to grab his coat and speed out the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

_She hikes her knee further up his hip, and it takes him a lot of restraint to pull her _gently_ closer to him. Her hands roam over his back, and it feels so...good. She moans softly in his ear as his lips attend to her neck and shoulder, and it undoes him a little. His hands are quick and stable, as if they were trained for exactly this moment. His fingers slip underneath the hem of her slip-on, and he pulls it over her, every inch of her bared skin begging to be touched. She knots her hands in his hair as he kisses her collar bone, slowly making his way down, his nose skimming over the strap of her bra. _

_Oh, how he's missed it!_

_One-handed, she fumbles with the button of his trousers, and, once undone, her hand rests on the tip of his hip, her fingers feeling the band of his underwear. Their mouths join again, as his hands slide gently until they touch the lace of her panties, and he pushes them down her legs, moving away from her just slightly to drop them to the ground. _

_It's slow, and perfect, and he kisses her gently for the whole time it happens. His hands hold her face, and his thumbs caress her cheeks, and when it's over he presses soft kisses to her temple, and nose, and eyelids before kissing her lips again. _

_He gives her the discarded underwear, then buttons up his trousers. She smiles awkwardly at him as he pulls her slip-on over her body, but he feels more confident than he's felt in months, so he returns it stronger. He puts his hands on her hips and pulls her to the edge of the bar, her legs locking around him one more time. He kisses her, soft and gentle, and takes her in his arms at the same time, placing her on the stool beside him. _

_His hands smooth her ruffled hair, and he presses his lips to the tip of her head, before walking over to where his shirt lays. _

_His heart is still racing, and his breath is quick, and his brain is so confused, he cannot attempt to clarify it. He just had sex with Serena. Serena, not Blair. And he can't bring himself to admit to himself the fact that, if it was up to him, he would have never traded it for anything in the world. This was never their problem. _

'_That was definitely not what I expected to happen tonight. Not that it was bad; it wasn't,' he says, as he fiddles with the collar of his shirt. _

_-xoxo- _

He knew Grand Central Station like the palm of his hand. However, looking for her there became the hardest thing imaginable. She could have been...anywhere. And he had no idea where to start.

He checked Gossip Girl, but the last post on there was a page of Blair's diary. 'Will I ever love anyone more than I love Chuck?' He should have known she wouldn't.

He pushed past people, and tripped over a child's suitcase, but didn't stop to pick it up. Or the child. He desperately hoped she wasn't gone. That there was still a chance to explain. Although he had no idea what he would say. He couldn't even explain it to himself.

Did he ever love Blair? He honestly believed he did.

Did he still love Blair? His brain told him yes, but his heart said no.

Did he ever stop loving Serena? That took him a while. He stopped and pondered over the fact that, truly, if he was to be completely honest with himself, he never stopped. And his heart was telling him the same thing.

He had to find her. There was no point in telling himself that. He needed to tell _her_. Even if he had no right to.

He looked through the crowd, giving a second glance towards every woman with blonde hair and perfect legs. Hoping it was her. Wishing it was her. Wanting it to be her. It never was.

There was a long train preparing to leave, and he looked through every window, this time hoping none of the faces belonged to her. But he had always been unlucky, and the last person he looked at was her. And she was not alone.

She blinked several times at the sight of him. Her body froze for a single moment, and then her brain worked faster than ever. She was on a train. The train was about to leave. _He_ wasn't on it. She had to get off. She took her bag from above her seat and raced down the corridor, storming out of the carriage. As soon as her feet touched concrete, she asked herself 'why'. Why would she do this, when she knew how he felt about her? Why would he be here, if he felt that way?

Answers. Did she really want to know them?

'What are you doing here?' she asked him once she stood a foot away from him.

'I can't let you leave on that train,' he replied, and moved closer.

She moved back. 'Dan... I know you might think I am a soulless bitch, but I can get hurt too. And I really don't think I deserve this, right now. I need to get away, clear me head, forget...'

'No, you don't. You need to change me back to who I was. To the person I was when we were together. That is the man I want to be, and I can't become him again without you.'

She laughed. Bitterly. Softly. Once. 'Of course this is about you. Where were _you_ when _I needed you_? Huh? Where were you when Cece died? Or when my father betrayed me again, or when I found out my long lost cousin was actually my half sister? Where were _you_ when I told you I loved you? When I kissed you last night? When we had sex? Where were you this morning, when I said it again, and you just... rejected and destroyed...'

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...' He walked closer, and placed his hands on her shoulders, and it surprised her to feel nothing.

'It's not enough, Dan. I watched you with my best friend, listened to her moan about how sex with you was unsatisfactory, gave you advice on how to get her to tell you she loved you... She never uttered it once. I said it numerous times, and you still chose her. And you know better than anyone what those words mean to me.'

He was taken aback by the fact that he knew exactly what she meant, and realised that, in her shoes, he would have never forgiven himself. But he hoped she would. He...needed her to.

'Do you know what hurt the most, Dan?' She couldn't even cry. As much as she wanted to let him see her, damaged and destroyed, she couldn't. 'This morning, at the loft, you said you never wanted to see me ever again. There was a part of me that felt the same. But the biggest part of my heart wouldn't stop loving you. And those words—'

'I didn't mean it.' He gently shook her shoulders. Hoped she would understand. 'I was angry, but not at you. I was angry at myself, for not being able to resist. Do you remember that night many years ago? When you asked me why I loved you? All those reasons I came up with? You're completely unaware of your effect on me. It seems I am too.'

She refused to look at him. Allow herself to feel...everything...again.

'Don't...'

'I was angry for not feeling for Blair what I felt for you the moment we kissed. For not ever wanting Blair the way I wanted you the instant I felt your touch on my skin. I was so angry with myself at the fact that I lied to everyone, to myself, about loving Blair Waldorf when I had no idea who she was. For not listening to you when you said it. What Blair did to Chuck, I did to you. And I hope one day you will forgive me for it. Because I need you, Serena, I need you right beside me while I try to fix myself. And I really want, in the process, to fix us, too. Serena, I love—'

'Don't,' she said again. 'You say it too easily.'

'It has never meant as much as it does now.'

She threw her hand by her sides in frustration, and it took a single moment of carelessness for the small, yellow cylinder to fall out of her sleeve. It rolled on the ground and stopped by his feet, and she didn't react fast enough to stop him from picking it up. His eyes widened in shock once he realised what it was.

That's when the tears flowed. She didn't want to begin to think about what he would think about her, the fact that he'd leave, disgusted. The fact that he'd judge her. She just cried in front of him.

'Oh, my God,' he whispered to himself, and just threw his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest.

'I'm sorry,' she cried in his shirt, her body still stiff against his.

'It's okay, it's okay.' He leaned his head against the side of hers.

'I didn't mean for it to happen...' She sniffed against him, and gently relaxed, fingers grasping the edge of his shirt.

'I know.'

'I don't want you to hate me,' she muttered. It was so true; her inexplicable insecurities surfacing again. Those words echoed in her mind. _Do you hate me? No, of course not. _What a similar situation. How much had changed since then...

'I never will, Serena.' He took the liberty of touching his lips to her temple, and she would have been lying to herself if she said she didn't entirely enjoy his gesture.

'Let's take you home. You want to go home?'

She nodded her head, then spoke once she realised the reality of her situation. 'Blair kicked me out today. I haven't got anywhere to go.'

'I hope you know that's not true,' he said, and gripped her hand, pulling her towards the exit. It took her a while to respond to his touch, and mould her fingers against his, but once she did, it couldn't feel better. Maybe things had to get worse before they got better.

-xoxo-

The drive to Brooklyn was tense. Although it seemed like she was getting everything that she wanted, she couldn't be happy about it. It felt right, but at the same time, it didn't.

It wasn't about playing hard to get. She had waited so long for this boy, she couldn't imagine things getting harder. It was about understanding him; _them_. The fact that his mind changed so quickly scared her. She feared they wouldn't last because of that, and she wasn't prepared to allow that.

Entering the loft reminded her of rejection and hurt, and she flinched at the memory. She sat on his sofa, eyes dropped, and she could have sworn she could still smell Blair's perfume in the seats. She didn't want to think what his sheets would smell like...

She dried her eyes before he noticed.

'I'd like to think I know you well enough, even after everything, to know when something bothers you. What's wrong?' He took her hand in hers, but this time she didn't respond.

'It's just... The last time I was here, you said you never wanted to see me again.' He lowered his head. 'I just need to know what made you change your mind. I need to know this isn't just a rebound from Blair for you. Because that's not what this would mean for me, and we need to be on the same page, Dan, because I don't think I can take any more heartbreak.'

There was just silence, and Serena hated it.

'Please say something...' she urged, not knowing what to understand anymore.

'You told me not to say it,' was his only response.

'Say what?' she asked, and for the first time since they got here, she looked into his dark eyes.

'That I love you.'

'You loved Blair, too. You can't love both of us.' She brought up one hand to press against her left eye.

'Maybe I loved her. But I don't anymore.'

'And that terrifies me, Dan. It was so easy for you to change. How long until your feelings about me change, too?'

'They won't. You have to trust me, and believe that. They will not. Serena, 'Inside' was just a novel. A novel that I had the opportunity to live in real life. _You_ were the inspiration behind it. The girl behind 10-08-05. Clair, and, by extension, Blair, was a girl I willingly fell for. You were the girl I didn't mean to fall in love with, but did anyway.

Serena, you were right. Chuck and Blair were somehow going to end up together, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you warned me. I hurt you, and I know that it'll take me a while to make up for it. But I can't do that, unless you'll let me. I know I love you. I can feel it, and it's not the same feeling I had for Blair. Will you let me prove it to you?'

He waited for her response, his hands still holding onto one of hers. She took a moment to think, clear her head, comprehend. Then she finally responded.

Firstly to his touch. She gripped his fingers tightly, and soon after, her lips stretched softly into a smile.

'I was right. You wouldn't have done what we did last night without having any feelings for me.'

'I don't regret what happened. It was the best night I've had...in a while.'

'Mine too,' she whispered, and rested her head on his shoulder, allowing him to wrap her in his embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

Different people have different coping mechanisms. And although Serena would have never admitted it out loud, hers hadn't changed since high school. She still preferred to avoid, not confront.

The last time she had looked through a book of Chaucer's poetry was junior year, but somehow it suddenly was the most interesting thing in her life. Much more interesting than her white iPhone on the bedside table, vibrating once every two minutes with a missed call or unread text.

She was coping with it. She was avoiding him.

-xoxo-

The atmosphere was weird as he entered her apartment. Bart's return meant that any trace of his father's existence had been eradicated, and as he made his way into the living room, he noticed the photo of Lily and Rufus had been replaced by one taken many summers ago. A white dress, and a yellow one. Two men in a tux. A smile on most faces, except hers. And, of course, his.

The house was quiet, so he made his own way towards her bedroom. He hadn't been there in so long... It seemed most of the good memories of the previous years were inside that room.

For a second, seeing her curled up with a book in the middle of her bed transported him to 2007. It was strange, yet at the same time it reminded him of what was. What could've still been...

'Hey,' he whispered, and sat beside her.

She hoped he didn't notice her reaction. The way she tensed, her weary look, her uncertain heart. He leaned in to kiss her, and she knew it, and she didn't quite realise it when she turned her head, exposing her cheek under his lips.

It was awkward between them, and he honestly could not remember another moment like this during their first or second time around.

'I'm sorry,' they said at the same time, and their eyes locked at the realisation.

'Dan...' she started, scooting closer to him. 'I'm not ready yet.'

He looked away. 'Serena, a few days ago we had sex. Surely a kiss is nothing compared to that.'

It was hard to try and act like his words had not hurt her worse than she thought they would. In fact, she couldn't quite hide it. 'It means more to me than you think,' she muttered, and closed her eyes, ordering her tears to remain unseen.

'That's not what I meant,' he spoke, and rested one hand on her knee, the gesture forcing her gaze towards his. A tear escaped. He lifted his other hand to her face, and wiped it off.

'I understand why you would have second thoughts...'

'In that case, you don't understand at all,' she said softly. 'I'm not having second thoughts about us. I know we're good together, and I know that I love you. But **just because I have feelings for you, doesn't mean I can be your second choice**. I guess I'm just not convinced you don't love Blair anymore.'

Her voice shook at the end, and he allowed his thumb to smooth over her cheek, comforting her.

'I wish I could just show you, prove it to you...'

'With time. I'm just not ready to go back to...us. Dan and Serena.' She smiled a little. 'I read somewhere online, people call us 'Derena'.' They laughed a little, and her voice broke a little, a soft sob escaping her lips.

He held her to his chest, inhaling the specific smell of her. She hid her cheeks in his shirt, grabbing fistfuls of its bottom, holding onto him.

He kissed the side of her head, tenderly, then he pushed her at arm's length, watching the blonde compose herself under his watch.

'Let's be friends, then. Just to begin with,' he suggested.

'I thought we already were...' she joked, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

'Fresh start.'

-xoxo-

If she had been awake, the way their legs were tangled on her bed would have made her blush. She opened her eyes gently, feeling him breathe under her head, and she knew she should have gotten up from his lap, but she realised she didn't really want to. She closed her eyes again, snuggling tightly against him.

'I wouldn't make myself comfortable. The movie seems over,' he muttered, his voice rough and groggy.

'I think I managed to see a bit of the beginning before I dozed off,' she explained, and sat up beside him. 'What time is it?'

'Later than either of us wants it to be. Almost midnight.'

'You can't go home alone at this time,' she argued, as she noticed him looking for one of his shoes.

'Serena, I'm not a teenage girl anymore,' he joked.

She giggled. 'You can stay here,' she suggested, and part of her was begging of him to reject her proposal.

He was quiet for a minute, and Serena couldn't help but wonder if she had been too forward. After rejecting him today. She fiddled with her hands, and the sound of his voice once he spoke again felt like the biggest breath she had ever taken.

'I have a better idea,' he said, and grabbed the two duvets on the sofa. 'You coming?' he instructed, and headed for the elevator.

-xoxo-

It felt like the craziest thing she had ever done, but also like the best. There was freedom and liberty, and a strange possibility of being arrested for trespassing, and she had no plans to move from her spot anytime soon. Her duvet was wrapped tightly around her, and her initial thoughts of cold weather or hard floors were lost among the thick clouds above them, hiding what she could have only imagined as the brightest stars, and the refreshing smell of the city around her.

'I take it you've never done this before,' he says, angling his body closer to hers.

'How can you tell?' she joked, and turned to face him, lying on her side.

'You look like you won the lottery.'

She laughed softly to herself. 'While some kids were camping, I was sitting front row at a fashion show. I had a different lifestyle,' she mused, and closed her eyes, listening to the sounds resonating from what seemed like miles below them.

'Well, it paid off. You dress better than anyone I know.'

She didn't open her eyes. 'Even Blair?' she asked, attempting to appear nonchalant.

He sighed. 'Serena, this can't become a competition between you and Blair. You don't need to compare yourself with her all the time.'

'She's been comparing herself with me our whole life. It feels like it's my turn...' she muttered.

'Not when it comes to me. You have no reason to.'

Her eyes opened in the silence, and they looked at each other, his gaze roaming over the soft lines of her face. He observed the vulnerability and weakness in her eyes, so unlike her, but at the same time, so like her when she was around him. Something reserved for him. And he couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not.

He smiled, gently, and scooted closer to her, searching for her hand underneath her duvet. He placed his over it, and, after a moment, she sighed, and smiled, her fingers lacing with his.

'A bit forward for just friends, isn't it?' he asked, and raised his eyebrows jokingly.

She played along and started to pull away, but he tightened his grip.

'It's okay. I like it,' he said, and closed his eyes, relishing at the touch.

-xoxo-

Neither of them expected it. It was as if a bucket of water had been thrown over them, drenching their clothes in an instant. She squealed as soon as water touched her skin and jumped out of her duvet, pulling him with her. He laughed gently to himself, as he watched her collect her things as quickly as she could, and he tried really hard to keep his focus on her hands and not on the way her wet top clung in all of the right places, or the way her hair fell perfectly around her face, even when wet.

'Why aren't you packing up?' she asked, her tone louder than usual, trying to drown the sound of the falling rain.

'Because I don't melt at the contact with water,' he joked, exaggerating his movement even slower.

'Daaan!' she shouted with fake exasperation, and laughed as she pulled him by the hand toward the exit.

'Why about my stuff?'

'I'll buy you knew stuff! Let's go inside.'

She pulled eagerly at the door, but it wouldn't open. She tried again; still nothing. She turned around and saw him laughing his head off.

'It's locked.' The only reaction he had was laugh even harder. 'Stop laughing, you jerk!' she said, yet she couldn't contain her own laughter.

'Here, take this.' He moved closer to her and wrapped his already wet jacket around his shoulders.

'It's wet!' she scolded, but wrapped it tighter around her, secretly smelling its strong scent.

'Does it matter? You're drenched anyway. I just wanted to prove chivalry wasn't dead,' he said, and moved closer to her, taking a soft strand of her wet locks and placing it neatly behind the shell of her ear. She inched that bit closer; their bodies were touching, and she didn't think about it too much when she ran her fingers through his hair, putting his thick curls back into place.

'Dance with me?' he asked spontaneously, gripping her hands and pulling her even closer to him.

'In the rain?' she asked, eyebrows raised and a smile playing gently on her lips. He nodded. 'There is no music,' she argued, yet he still nodded, and placed his hand on her waist, knotting their fingers together.

She giggled softly, and hid her head in his shoulder. 'No!' she declared once she looked at him again, and pulled away from his embrace.

'Oh, I think you will,' he spoke, and bent over just slightly to place an arm underneath her knees and scoop her up. Loud laughs erupted from her, as she linked her arms gently around his neck, and she couldn't stop laughing as he spun her around.

'Duh-dum, duh-dum, duh-dum-dum-dum-dum,' he 'sang', moving around to the rhythm of the noise.

'You're crap at singing!'

'It's the Humphrey family gene,' he joked, and set her down, smoothing her unruly hair around her face as she gained composure. He reached in his back pocket and took out a key.

She gasped in mock horror. 'I wanted to see how long you'd resist,' he explained.

-xoxo-

Their steps left wet marks on the floor of her apartment, but neither cared or went back to wipe them. He walked her to her room, and placed her stuff in her bathtub.

There was a tension around them. Familiar, and more foreign to them than either of them could remember.

'Larissa will take care of that tomorrow,' she said, and wrapped her arms around her, standing in her doorway.

'It _is_ tomorrow,' he said, and took his hands out of his pockets. 'Good night.' He didn't move.

She waited a moment, before placing a hand on his cheek, bringing him closer to her. She pressed her lips to his face, slowly. 'I had a lot of fun tonight,' she whispered against his skin, and he smiled softly, bringing his arms around her, holding her closer.

The pulled away. 'Good night,' she said, and watched him walk towards the living room.

As he laid on the sofa, he couldn't help the toxic smile spread on his face. He didn't know that she wore the exact same one in her bed just down the hall.

_**A/N:**__ Here we go, people, NEW CHAPTER! I am in the process of updating my other stories. Probably once I finish with my final exams :). So I hope you like this, and PLEASE REVIEW! Oh, and about the bold bit... When Beez reads this, she'll know what I'm on about ;) THANK YOU GUYS xxx_


	4. Chapter 4

It amazed her how quickly she accustomed herself with his presence again. Only a week after they 'danced' on the roof, she found herself dressing up to meet him. She glanced at her bed on the way to her wardrobe; over thirty outfits tried and discarded. She promised herself she would never take a page out of Blair's book, but she wanted to look perfect. Although she knew he would say so anyway. She smiled, and picked up an old dress, knowing this would be the last she'd try something. Black, and short, and with gentle gold glimmers; she worn it before.

'Hi,' he said, his lips breaking into a smile once he saw her.

'Hey,' she responded as she stood in front of him. 'I see you've tweaked a few things here and there. Nice haircut,' she praised, and ran his fingers through his short hair. She kind of missed the feeling of his curls against her skin.

'Yeah, well, I had to, once my Dad said I looked like Aunt Matilda,' he explained, and pretended to shudder at the thought. She laughed, and he smiled at the beautiful sound of it.

'You look just like you did in high school. I kind of like it.'

'Good. You look perfect tonight, by the way,' he said, and pressed his lips to her cheek, causing her to smile knowingly.

'Now, are you ready to go?' he asked, and extended his hand before him.

She took it. 'I am,' she said excitedly.

'You still haven't told me where you're taking me,' she moaned, as they walked out of her building.

'It's a surprise. And we don't need a car,' he declared, as he waved her driver off.

'So we're slumming it. Hmm, let me think, we're not going to Harlem, are we? Because I forgot my bulletproof vest,' she joked, and he threw his head back with laughter.

'Ooh, I can smell the judgement. Don't worry, princess, I'm taking you a lot closer to home.'

-xoxo-

They stopped at the main gates of the park, and he stood in front of her, looking down at her confused face. He smiled to himself, as he reached in the pocket of his jeans, taking out two pieces of paper and handing them to her.

She giggled when she read the top of one. 'The Ice Capades?'

'I'm an adult. I can take it. Besides, you're here with me, so it's okay.' He watched her glance over the tickets again, and his heart raced at the fact that she looked so happy. He couldn't not be overjoyed at the fact that he got the opportunity to make her feel that way again. The chance to make amends.

'I thought they broke up in, like, the 90s.'

'Well, get ready to see magic happen, because they're here today.' He took her hand again, and led her through the gates.

-xoxo-

'I _cannot _believe how much of a baby you are! What happened to being an adult?' she asked, as they walked hand in hand down the paths of the park.

'Hey, when I was a kid, Mickey Mouse would have never done the things I saw him do tonight. It completely changed my perspective on things!'

She laughed with him. 'You were worse than the children!'

'Well, now I know never to watch it again,' he said, and pulled her towards the side of the lake. It sounded so cheesy, but he could actually see the stars glimmer in the water. She gripped the side of the fence around it, and he took a moment to look at her. She was...breathtaking.

She caught him stare, and a soft blush crept to her cheeks.

'You know, I think only psychopaths and killers look at something that intensely,' she joked, and continued to look at the gentle movement of the water before them.

He snorted. 'Psychopaths, killers and people in love,' he rectified, and looked for her reaction.

She closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply, not being able to control a slight smile in the corner of her lips. She wasn't sure she was ready yet.

'Dan...' she started.

'Hey, I didn't say which category I fit under,' he spoke, knowing when to take the pressure off of her.

She broke into laughter, and smacked his shoulder, playfully. 'Don't say that! It kind of worries me, since it's just the two of us here.'

After she said it, he realised that, indeed, they were alone. An idea popped into his head.

He jumped over the rail, on the edge of the lake, and turned towards her with a bright smile on his face.

'Come here,' he instructed, and held out his arms to help her over.

She laughed in disbelief. 'You better be kidding! Get back from there! You'll actually get us arrested this time,' she joked, and took a step back from the fence when he asked again.

'Hey, we're alone. You said so yourself. No one will ever know.' He leaned over and pulled her towards him, picking her up over the bar between them, and dropping her beside him.

'Dan, are you crazy?' she joked, but once she saw him unbutton his shirt, she started laughing hysterically. 'Yep, you are!' she declared, and attempted to jump on the safe side.

'No, you don't!' He picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder slightly, and walked so close to the edge, she couldn't see anything else but water.

She tried to get some words out in between giggles. 'Dan, it's not fair, I'm still dressed!' she shouted, and tried to push against his shoulder, away from him.

'I gave you a chance to undress and you betrayed my trust trying to escape. So that's really too bad,' he declared and jumped.

The contact with the water was unexpected, and the shock stilled her legs for a moment, but soon after, she started treading the water, resurfacing. With mock anger, she started to look for Dan, twisting around in circles. But he wasn't there.

'Dan?' she shouted, moving hair away from her face. 'Dan?' she asked again, getting worried without realising. 'Oh, God, Dan?' she asked again, and screamed loudly once his hands gripped around her waist.

'You jerk! Never scare me like that again!' she scolded, as her hands touched his shoulder and face frantically. 'God, you should be incarcerated for this!' she said, softly smiling once she noticed he was laughing.

'Miss van der Woodsen, would it be possible that you care?' he whispered in the small space between them, his arms holding her tightly against him.

Her hands were still placed over his cheeks. 'Of course I care, you son of a...'

'Serena?' he asked, interrupting her before she completed that little sentence. He noticed her lips were shaking with the chill of the water.

'Yeah?' she responded, suddenly whispering without realising.

'I'm glad to hear you care.' He said it so softly, she wasn't sure she heard it. Or maybe that had something to do with the proximity of his mouth from hers. His lips hovered just above hers, their breaths mingling, and his gaze pierced hers, almost as if he was asking permission.

She closed her eyes, and just waited, her chin slightly angled towards him. In a matter of what seemed like hours, he grabbed her top lip in his, slowly, and gently pulled away from her. Her eyes opened, and she saw his gaze still rested on her, suddenly unsure. A hand moved at the back of his neck, and she lifted her chin, allowing him to press his lips firmer on top of hers. She relaxed in his embrace almost instantly, breathing him in. She opened her mouth just a little, allowing him to slip his tongue against hers, and she moaned softly in his mouth at the familiar feeling. Her back arched against him, and he moved his hands underneath her thighs, resting her on his hips. She breathed out loudly when she felt his lips against her neck and shoulder, and she ran one hand against his hair, his shorter strands creating a tingly feeling against her skin. She shivered with pleasure.

Their foreheads joined, and when their gazes met once more, she saw the seventeen year old she fell for in junior year. _Her Dan._ She pressed her mouth against his once more, gently and perfectly, before swimming back to the edge of the lake.

-xoxo-

She turned to face him once they got to the entrance of her building.

'It seems every time I'm with you, I get soaked. But even so, I had a lovely time tonight,' she said, and blushed a little.

He smiled down at her. 'Me too. Make sure Dexter doesn't see you when you go upstairs, or he'll call the cops on me,' he warned, and threaded his fingers with hers.

She giggled. 'Dexter worked at the Palace. Matthew works here, and he's a friend of Dexter's. How about you come upstairs? Protect me?' she suggested, her gaze avoiding his.

'I would love to, but I think it's better to take things slow.'

She smiled. 'Me too. However, I think this can be allowed,' she said, and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his head down towards her, easing her access to his lips.

It wasn't long until his arms tightened around her waist.

_**A/N:**__ Oof, sorry for the long delay, but the new chapter is finally here. This was never intended to be a long story, so I think there's only one chapter, maybe two left. Enjoy, people, and __**review**__! :) _


	5. Chapter 5

She dropped her many bags by the entrance, and walked into the living room, only to find a large bouquet of flowers waiting for her on the bar. She laughed gently to herself, as she walked towards it and took out the note.

'I remembered you loved lilies, even if any other girl would have liked roses. I saw these and thought of you. See you tonight, at seven? –Dan'

She smiled widely, her cheeks starting to hurt, and she buried her face in the flowers, breathing them in. Then, she glanced at her watch. 6.45. She didn't even change; she got into the first cab, and directed it to Brooklyn.

-xoxo-

'I see you got my little present,' he mused, as she entered his loft with a bounce in her step.

She laughed. 'How could you tell?' she asked, and walked towards him, gripping the T-Shirt around his waist.

'You have orange powder on your nose,' he said, and laughed as she scrunched it up to see. 'Here, let me,' he instructed, and he touched the tip of his fingers to her skin, clearing it.

'Thank you.' She smiled up at him.

It hadn't been long since he kissed her in Central Park, and there was still some tension around them. But it was starting to become more and more insignificant.

He pinned a strand of hair behind her ear, and his hand remained there, cradling the side of her face. She stood on her tip toes, and pressed her mouth against his, gently taking his bottom lip between her teeth before they pulled away.

'It's good to be able to kiss you again,' he said, snaking his arms around her waist, his hands clasping just above the curve of her butt.

'I know. I missed it.'

'Well, you're mine now,' he declared, kissing her cheek languorously. 'And I would like to treat my _girlfriend_ to a lovely homemade meal, should you wish to accept that title again.'

She didn't respond, but the fact that her lips stretched into a big smile led him to think he was going to like the answer.

'Serena? Would you like to be my official girlfriend again? Because I would like nothing more,' he declared, and tightened his grip on her briefly.

She laughed softly in his embrace, struggling to contain the swelling in her heart. 'Of course. I would love that,' she finally spoke, and kissed him strongly one more time.

-xoxo-

They sat around the small coffee table in his living room, empty plates, burning candles, and their knotted hands sprawled over it. It reminded her a little of how happy they used to be. Once upon a time. She remembered _why don't you tell me what's on your mind, then it can be on our minds, then our minds can worry about what's on your mind...together. _She giggled a little at the memory.

'What?' he asked, his thumb rubbing against the knuckles of her fingers.

'I was just remembering...'

'The night you told me about Blair's pregnancy scare?' he interrupted. She nodded. 'Yeah, I was thinking about that, too.' He brought her hand to his lips, and her thumb lingered over his bottom lip, just as it did all those years ago.

'I was going to tell you I loved you that night. Jenny thought the atmosphere would have been...opportune. But you made it so difficult!' He laughed at the memory. 'I don't blame you; you had a _lot_ on your mind.'

'I remember not taking it very well, once you told me. I'm sorry about that. It was just, those were the scariest words anyone had ever said to me. So many men said it to my mother, and the number that had left her was the same. I didn't want the same to happen to us,' she explained, her tone saddened.

'I have only said those words to three people in my whole entire life. And you were the one I meant them to the most. I loved you so much,' he said, watching her smile under his gaze.

'I still do,' he continued, and her eyes lifted to his.

'I really want to believe you when you say those words, Dan.'

He touched the tip of her chin. 'Do you want to know why?' he asked, a knowing smile playing on his lips. She nodded gently.

'Because I'm the best man I can be when I'm around you. Because you love the fact that I'm from Brooklyn, you prefer waffles over pancakes for breakfast, and your favourite place to eat is that small diner in Brooklyn where we kissed a long time ago.' He saw she was starting to protest, but he stopped her. 'Don't deny it, I know this for a fact,' he said, and she smiled, embarrassed, giving up.

'I love you because you sacrificed your happiness for mine. You watched me be with Blair just because you and I both thought that was what made me happy. And I hope that, one day, I can repay you for all that. I'm prepared to work a lifetime at it, and I love you for giving me the chance and the strength to do it.

I couldn't help falling in love with you all those years ago, and I can't help it now,' he declared, and watched a small drop of water leak from the corner of her eye. He lifted a hand a wiped it off the apple of her cheek, stroking it a couple of times. 'I love you because, when you cry, your left eye is always the one to leak first, and so I know which hand to use to wipe your tears with,' he said, and she laughed brokenly, holding his hand against her face. 'I love you because every time you laugh like that, you make me the happiest man on Earth.'

She turned her face underneath his hand, and kissed the inside of his palm.

'And I love you. But I can't put it into that many words, as you just did,' she said, and he laughed softly, leaning over the table, and pressing his forehead against hers.

'You don't need to. I know you do. You've told me before. And I can feel it; I can see it in your eyes, and feel it in your lips. I felt it that night, at the Shepherd divorce party, in every single one of your touches, and I am so sorry for ignoring it then. For acting like a jackass after...'

'It's okay,' she soothed. 'I think I learnt to forgive you.' She smiled comfortingly.

'And I'll always be grateful for it,' he declared, and kissed her long and hard.

-xoxo-

Her head is warm against his chest, and the heaviness is so familiar, he can't even feel it. Her hands are slid underneath him, and her legs are wrapped around his, and the way she smells makes this moment as perfect as moments can get. The feeling of her chest rising and falling against his side is calming and so reassuring, he doesn't feel the need to hold her tighter against him, as he normally would. He kisses her cheek, and then rests his head on top of hers.

He was happy. Happier than he had been in a long time; he was in love. With the right woman. With the only woman he had ever been in that kind of love. Powerful, eternal, all consuming. And remembering what that love felt like makes him realise what he felt for Blair was an easy, complacent, convenient love. What he feels for Serena is true love.

_**A/N:**_ _Here we are! I found it so hard to write it, but here is another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, and I thank you all for reading! Keep doing it, a brand new update is coming up soon ;) I'll try to update asap, although it seems like writing is something I find really hard to do at the moment... Don't forget to __**REVIEW**__!____xx_


	6. Chapter 6

'_Mrs Eleanor Waldorf Rose and Mr Harold Waldorf request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Blair Cornelia to Mr Charles Bartholomew Bass.' _

The expensive piece of card shimmered under the light of the bedside table, grasping Dan's attention now and again. From where he laid on the bed, he could see the tuxedo hung from the door of the wardrobe, and her beautiful dress wrapped up in clear plastic next to it.

His eyes diverted to the invitation yet again. The first thing to document the inevitability of the mistake he had made. Of the charade he lived and the lies he felt. Others, maybe even Dan at some earlier point in his far too complicated life, would have felt anger, so much anger, at themselves, at the universe; screw this goddamn world.

But he couldn't be angry. Not at Blair, not at his father, not even at himself. If anything, he was happy. And looking over his left shoulder, resting his gaze on the sleeping form of _her_, Dan felt proud of not only himself, but of them. Of all they felt and fought against. Of their success. Together.

The glimmer of the satin bow disappeared with the light, and he slid an arm underneath her, bringing her close into his chest. He knotted their fingers together, and kissed her lightly on her exposed cheek, before tuning his breathing to the same rhythm as hers.

-xoxo-

'That dress is not fair,' he commented once he entered his bedroom, towel hung to his hips and little drops of water trailing behind him. He placed his palms on her flat stomach, pressing her against him, his lips touching her neck repeatedly.

She giggled and pushed him away, twisting to face him. 'Go dry yourself, you're staining it!'

She squealed as he grabbed her hand and pulled her back in his embrace.

'Let's take it off, then,' he suggested, and wiggled his eyebrows as he walked her to the bed.

'I would love to, but Blair will definitely not take kindly to a flushed maid of honour. Plus, you know she has a nose for these things; she'd know we haven't just been thinking about her wedding the whole morning, that we've been busy doing... other things,' she spoke as he hovered over her, kissing the tip of her chin, along the jaw line, down her shoulder... Her words were slowly lost.

'You're too good of a friend to her,' he muttered and lifted himself off her, after capturing her bottom lip between his for a second. Or two.

-xoxo-

'There are so many directions a maid of honour's speech can go in. There's the tear jerker, where I could talk about the countless wonderful memories and barefoot chats in a sunflower field, only anyone that knows Blair even in passing could tell that the only place she would walk barefooted is her steamed bathroom floor. I could go down the amusing route; show home-videos and reveal some of B's darkest, most embarrassing moments. But I won't; because I'll hopefully get married someday, and she won't hesitate to get revenge. I could sing a song to sum up our long and challenging friendship, but I know that behind those large double doors stand two tall security details, and that she has hired them for exactly that moment. So that kind of only leaves me with one choice; the short and sweet wishes of happiness and satisfaction to my best friend, the girl who has tried to convince me from a very young age that, in reality, not only do brunettes have more fun that blondes, but they also love more than blondes. But you know what I think, B? I think both categories love the same amount. I love you, Blair, and I wish you everything that I know you deserve beside your equally as good half. She would kill me if I said better. To the happy couple.'

-xoxo-

Her hand is in his, and his other hand holds at the curve of her back, and they sway gently to the music, their foreheads almost touching. They steal glances in each other's directions, and smile softly as they acknowledge it. His nose rubs against hers, and her soft giggles are trapped between them as he kisses her, and it's like they're alone in the room, in the middle of the dance floor, a yellow dress with a tight collar and beautiful flowers and his forehead against hers.

This moment is not as dramatic, or painful, but equally as important and memorable. They're still the same people, yet they've both changed, and while it seemed like history was repeating itself, it was, in fact, repairing itself.

-xoxo-

Blair places a bunch of peonies in her arms, and as Serena looks into her brown eyes, she notices her smile.

'You're meant to throw those.' She feels a tear down her cheek. Blair wipes it before her makeup runs.

'I don't want anyone else to catch them.' And Serena takes it as a blessing. For an old, perfect, never forgotten idea of forever.

-xoxo-

They jet off to Venice to celebrate her 27th birthday. His present to her. He holds her hand when the plane takes off, and strokes her hair as she sleeps on his shoulder, and she vaguely remembers a 15 hour flight with a dark haired boy and a break up. The way she danced on tables in Buenos Aires, and they way she ran straight back to him when she landed. It has always been him.

She rummages through their suitcase for the pair of earrings he liked, before they go out for dinner one night, and her heels feel too high, her dress too tight and the air too dry when her fingers touch over the lid of a small, black, velvet box.

The best things come in small packages. She doesn't mean to open it, but she does anyway, and she wants to laugh and cry at the same time, and the emotion is too strong, and her feet disappear from underneath her, and she just leans on the nearest wall and slides down it. She can't take her eyes off the contents of the little black box.

She doesn't even hear him when he comes looking for her, but she notices when he kneels in front of her, forehead creased with worry, and terrified hope in his eyes.

'You weren't supposed to find that,' he kind of complains, and removes the box from between her fingers, refusing to look anywhere near her beautiful blue eyes.

'It shouldn't come as a surprise to you, Serena. You know I love you.' He closes his eyes, and she smiles a little. 'I was waiting to come up with a better speech, which is kind of ironic, I guess, since I _am_ a writer...'

She laughs brokenly, and pushes herself against the wall, so that she kneels in front of him, too.

'I know a lot has happened, but the fact that we have gotten over it means we...' He clears his throat and looks at her, the box still closed in his hand. 'I'm sorry, this sounded a lot better in my head.'

Her hands cup his cheeks, her fingers lying on either side of his ears, and she cries in front of him, silently, as his eyes meet hers, and she sees everything he wants to say inside them.

'I want you to have my last name. It's a pride thing. I want to know that everyone knows just how lucky I am to have you, to hold you, forever, like we once talked about. Show our parents how it's done.

I want to love you forever. To be yours forever. To have you forever. To hold you tight when you sleep, to kiss you when you wake up, to agree to disagree over the ending to 'Dear John'. I want to have a family with you. So, Serena, if you want the same things, marry me.'

-xoxo-

He holds her hand again as their plane takes off Italian tarmacs, only this time, the delicate glimmer of a refined diamond catches his eye. He lifts her hand and kisses its back, his proof of his greatest achievement. Her thumb rubs over his lips briefly, and her smile is genuine, and he realises this is nowhere near a finale, but more like a beginning. He knows it's cheesy.

But he wouldn't have it any other way.

_**A/N:**__ Okay, here we go. The end to this story, as well. I hope you're not disappointed with the way it ends; I'm not entirely happy with the last section, but hey. Review and let me know what you guys think, and I hope you'll keep reading my work. LOVE YOU ALL 3_


End file.
